NEW ROOM NEW ME
NEW ROOM NEW ME
Okay so don’t take that title too seriously….I didn’t completely makeover my room, but, I did make a few changes like adding this desk and rearranging some furniture. However, it feels like a completely new room to me.
When we moved from Chicago two years ago, we downsized. A lot. This meant that we got rid of more than half our belongings. Most of the things we kept were family heirlooms and necessities. (Beds, basically.) This meant that my grandmother’s huge, cherry armoire and dresser were to be put into my room, along with two matching bedside tables. They are beautiful pieces of furniture, don’t get me wrong. But they are huge and dark, and felt very out of place in my room. I couldn’t help but feel like my room wasn’t really mine. (Which was okay because I would be heading to college and wouldn’t be spending much time at home.)
Now that I am living at home and taking classes, I knew I needed to get a desk so I can have a place to study at home. But I also had nowhere to put a desk because of all the furniture. I spent all of last week clearing out the nightstands, moving furniture the size of hippos, and decorating my little study corner.
I feel amazing every time I walk into my room. It feels totally, completely mine, now. It’s exactly where I belong and where I need to be. It’s exactly how I feel about my life now, too. The past two years, when I was sick, I was kind of just letting life happen. All I could do was get through each day, while everything and everyone around me was going on and living. I was only surviving, I wasn’t living.
Now, I am living. I am grabbing life by the reins and taking myself exactly where I need to go. I am doing what I want and what I feel is best for myself. I’m surrounded by love and laughter; my parents, my brothers, Garrett, my friends, my coworkers. Everyone has been SO supportive and I am so lucky. I’ve never been more content than I am right now.
I even had the craziest dream last night, and I don’t think it was a coincidence. My Mema (mother’s mother) and my Grandad (father’s father) were sitting, talking to each other, and Deacon was right in between them. Mema was rubbing his ears. If that doesn’t tell me that all is right in the world, then I don’t know what will.
The quote today on my desk calendar even says, “It’s not a sign of weakness to need help. Actually, reaching out is inner strength displayed.”
Everything happens for a reason, ladies and gentlemen. Life will throw you a curveball and it will really fucking suck at the time. But there is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. Do not be afraid to take a step back and figure out what is best for yourself.
Your happiness awaits you.
p.s. i had to share what my room looked like BEFORE i took these pics. instagram vs. reality in a nutshell right here!!!!!!