WISH YOU WERE HERE || to my first puppy love

WISH YOU WERE HERE || to my first puppy love

Image Belongs to Fondly, EmilyImage Belongs to Fondly, Emily Image Belongs to Fondly, Emily Image Belongs to Fondly, Emily Image Belongs to Fondly, Emily Image Belongs to Fondly, Emily

He’s a pistol.  He’s fierce and curious.  He loves testing us, and he knows exactly how to do it.  And look at the size of those paws.  He’s gonna be a beast.

You were timid and gentle. You were kind, and loving, and innocent.

Despite your differences, I see you in him.  Every day.  You both are so stoic and loyal.  You never left our sides, and neither does he.  He lays in my bed the same way you did; on your back, legs up in the air, one side resting on the pillows.  When he gets excited, he does the same little dance you did; and when he gets playful, he does the same little trot you did.  And he loves it when I rub his ears :).  Your eyes are the exact same, too, and he looks at us the same way you did.  Like he’s saying, “I love you.  I want to make you happy.  Please love me.”

And I do love him.  I love him the way I love you and I want him to be happy with us.  I hope he is.

Right now, I think he is frustrated.  Again, look at the size of his paws.  He’s growing so much.  He sleeps a lot and he chews more than you ever did.  (Did you ever chew on anything you shouldn’t have?)  His teeth are coming in.  I feel them when I let him gnaw on my fingers.  I have to let him chew on my fingers because I’d rather that than Mom’s dining room table.  It hurts.  But I see how much it helps him.

He was really angry the other day.  He kept biting and barking.  I didn’t know what to do.  Nothing felt good on his teeth besides my finger and boy his jaw is strong.  I finally remembered that we kept a few of your old toys and so I dug one up.

It’s a beat up toy; doesn’t look like the ones fresh from the store.  I couldn’t tell you how long we’ve had it.  And he doesn’t leave it alone.  I mean, look how perfect it is for a teething pup.  The material it’s made of and the different parts keep him entertained for hours. You can see in his eyes how good it feels.

When we brought you home, you hated warm things.  We bought you a dog bed and some towels and you chose to sleep on the tile floor almost every time you slept.  When we brought him home, we wrapped him in one of my old blankets; the one I kept on my bed every night when you would sleep with me.  He sleeps with it every night.  And during the day, he sleeps on your old dog bed.  I think it’s his favorite place in the house.  And I think he can smell you on it.

I wish you were here, Deacon.  I wish you could help us raise him; help keep him in line.  You would communicate so much better with him.  But mostly I wish you were here to love him.  He’s so much fun.  He and I run around the yard the way you and I did.  And we’ll end the play session snuggling in the grass.  Just like you and I did.  It’s the best part of my days.  We spend our mornings playing on the floor and almost every time I think about how much fun you would be having with us.

I miss you more than I ever have.  I didn’t think that was possible.  I’m so angry that you aren’t here.  But you’re not gone.  You never will be.  I’m reminded of you every day, and sometimes I think you are living again within Charley.  Our neighbor told him the other day, “You got some big shoes to fill.”  She wasn’t wrong.  You were beyond our wildest expectations.  Everyone knows that. But Charley’s not in your shoes.  He’s wearing a completely different pair, and shows us every day just how perfect EVERY dog is.

I’ll never stop missing you.

Until we meet again, Deacon Puppy.

 

Fondly,

Emily

Image Belongs to Fondly, Emily

Lover of fun, food, fashion, friendship, and family. (And coffee.) Just tryin’ to help ya live a happier and fuller life 🙂

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