Hello beautiful soul
It’s been a while
I hope you are refreshed and enriched by the cozy family time that the holidays always seem to bring
My holidays were surrounded by loved ones and those most important to me. I took time away from my computer and the interweb and focused on being within myself and with the people around me. This may have been my favorite holiday season yet. I feel slightly somber now that it is over but also completely recharged and ready to take on the year that I have ahead of me.
I haven’t come back on here until now because Garrett and I spent our holidays together and he didn’t leave until yesterday. I refused to think about the end of 2017 because that meant school starting soon and Garrett would be gone. But now, he is back there & I am here and I am facing the new year.
I don’t ever make resolutions or write down goals when the New Year happens but I do set some intentions for myself. I don’t like calling them goals because “goal” makes me think “number” and I don’t like putting limits on my life.
My biggest intention this year is also a realization that I had a few days ago when I went to mass with Garrett and my Dad:
My whole life I always strived to be great. I had a great father who had a great job. I had a great mother who cared greatly for my me and my two, great brothers. I felt I had to be great just like everyone around me. I tried to be great in everything I did and make a name for myself just like my brothers and my parents did. But I was often discouraged. The things that gave me the greatest joy, I wasn’t really the greatest at.
I can’t do this thing because someone else does it better than me. I couldn’t have that talent because someone else was more talented than me. I wasn’t the greatest at anything I tried and so I got frustrated with myself for not feeling great.
What I didn’t realize before is that great people are great because they are completely and unapologetically themselves.
When I stop thinking about what other people are doing and putting out into the world, I start to be great. What makes us great isn’t the numbers or the talents or the like-ability or the aesthetic. Those things are how others perceive you and your life. What makes you great is being within yourself. Completely, wholly within your own heart and mind, hearing what they are telling, asking, and pushing you to do, then doing them. What makes us great is the limbs we go out on and the experiences we have been through and the emotions we feel.
As Mother Teresa said, “We can do no great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
This year, I will focus on doing those small things with great love.
I don’t care about having the perfect life, I just want to perfectly love my life. I want to love the people around me and the moments I get to share with them. I want to feel satisfied and content at the end of every day. I want to appreciate my moments here on this earth and feel myself LIVING and BREATHING.
With love for life comes love for yourself. I struggle, wholeheartedly, in that department. It is so hard for me to love myself and be happy with who I am. I really, truly need not to be so hard on myself and instead accept who I am and what I love. I hope that putting great love into everything that I do helps with that.
Here’s to the small things, ladies & gents